Feeling very self-important and charismatic, I decided to make a Youtube channel.
The above was a joke, please read with a heavy dose of sarcasm.
But I did in fact make a Youtube channel.
I wanted to make a Youtube channel for a few reasons. I'm fascinated by people who make their money off the internet. People who put out content that others will watch and engage with and give credence too, and that spurs them on to visit their websites, sign up for their email newsletters and even click their affiliate links for recommendations. Now, I have no such grand ambitions. I was spurred on to make a Youtube channel simply in the belief that when it's my time to leave this mortal realm, I'd rather be thinking 'Gosh, that Youtube channel was a pile of shit' rather than thinking 'I wish I gave that Youtube channel thing a try.'
The first step for the Youtube Channel was actually rather hilarious. It was an 11 second video with me just being very high pitched and having nothing to say. That could have been my first foray into Youtube and it would have been fine. I decided, however, that someone with my calibre for talking and overthinking should really set the bar a lot higher and so the below was produced, my actual first Youtube video.
I suggest you watch it, not because it's great, but because the rest of this article is a reflection on it. And every view helps, or so I am led to believe.
Let's start with the bad, because a lot of it is bad. The video quality is bad - I'm using the selfie camera on my iPhone SE 2020. It's currently 2023, so I'm going to assume the selfie cameras on recent phones are a lot better now. Heck, even my rear facing camera is a lot better. But it's a bit hard to hold a phone and use the rear facing camera and know you're in the shot. So selfie camera it had to be.
The sound. Oh gosh, the sound. I hate how I sound on video. But, this first video is all about getting over that cringe-hatred of my own voice. I don't think anyone really likes their own voice, except maybe that guy who does the voice of Mufasa and Darth Vader. Nobody listens back to their own speaking voice and thinks 'Wow, what an amazing voice I have.' It just doesn't happen. And so, with that in mind, I recorded for 8 minutes, just speaking, unconsciously changing my tone and pitch. And the finished product is above. But the sound is bad. Because the microphone is just my phone. And it's not one of these fancy microphones most people on Youtube have. I could have waited and bought one, and maybe bought a better camera for doing just this kind of recording, and maybe bought one of those massive bright lights for setting the scene. Oh, and maybe I should just buy a new laptop with better processing for the video. And I'm sure there are a few other things I could have bought too before starting. But that would have just been me holding off and procrastinating.
I had the ability to shoot this video, and make a rather bad video, but I didn't procrastinate with it. I just did it. And I've now got over the hurdle of making my first Youtube video. My second one should be better. My third one should be even better than my second. In theory. In practice, I will learn with each video, and maybe upgrade something every now and then. The point is I started. And for that, no matter how bad this video is, it's a start.
I think the video is great.
It's me. It's authentic. It's just me talking how I talk and explaining my reasons for making this video. It's me getting to share myself to Youtube but also develop the thought process to myself. And it's me getting my first video out there.
When I recorded the first attempt, it was 11 seconds long and had literally no content. It consisted of 'Hi, I'm Aaron...Bye.' I had made a video that could have been put on Youtube but I hadn't made a video that had shown any authenticity or vulnerability. And I wanted to be as open and honest as I felt I could be within the confines of Youtube. Making this video, the longer it went on the more comfortable I got in front of the camera and with the process. I discovered quite quickly that being in front of the camera doesn't bother me at all. I suppose I should credit my Dad for this with his recording of all those childhood videos of me. Getting the first video done and dusted means the fear for recording the second or third is highly reduced.
The most frustrating part of this for me is that I have no plan. I made this video as I wanted to put a video on Youtube. I felt compelled to do so. I wanted to get out of some comfort zone I found myself in and I did it. The video is very much me talking about life. But I don't know if I will focus any other videos on that. I have a lot of interests that I would like to focus on, including technology, mental health, environmental things to name a few. Part of me wants to talk about things I enjoy. I believe the world and the internet can be filled with so much negativity and negative postings, I want to share what I enjoy and can recommend to others.
Starting this website was a way to get my creative outlet using the written medium which I enjoy a lot. I read a lot, so why wouldn't I give a go at writing? I watch a lot of things too, so why shouldn't I give a go at creating visual content.
I don't know if this website or the Youtube channel will 'take off' in any way. I don't really think that should be my metric of success. Numbers are important for some things. But at the end of the day, these two projects are very much for me to be creative. If people engage, watch, read, then that's great. If people subscribe, even better (hint, hint). But as long as I am still enjoying what I am doing, be it writing or recording, then I can at least look back and say 'Well, I tried it, it may have been shit, but at least I enjoyed the process.'